Noisetheorem

Ok, I decided to move the X rant to the ‘private’ section. No need to air that publicly…I was just very upset this morning. If someone wants to know why I was so incensed, send me an email and we will keep it private domain.

Also, I just want to add, that as of the end of C9, I am done talking about my X. I may rant to vent here from time to time, but as a new personal policy Ive officially put that behind me now. its only looking forward now.

I just got back from C9…my laptop is broken (and my data stuck in a questionable state). my house hasnt sold yet, and I just got a call from my ex wife to tell me that she QUIT HER JOB last week. QUIT HER JOB. thats it…just up and QUIT.

WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?

The fucking job that she hated soo much she worked at it 70 hour a week destroying our marriage. The job she needed so badly so that she could feel like she was doing something. the job that we NEEDED her to have so that she could be self sufficient and not be at all dependent on me for any kind of finanical assistance. The job I needed her to have so that I would have health insurance until I got my own when things settled down financially. The job that made it possible for her to pay half the fucking mortgage on this damned hell hole what was supposed to be our home.

I cannot even begin to talk about this in a rational manner. I am just so beyond pissed off.

Why does she do this? how does she know? I come home from vacation, high as a kite feeling like life is all on the up and up and she comes along and poisons all of that. just decimates it. I really cannot stand her any more – and she doesnt even see her own stupidity and insolence.

I cannot handle this amicably anymore. this false fucking attempt at civility between her and I is just disgusting. its dishonest. I dont know how I let myself get pulled into her world.

I am so pissed, I cant even type.

I don’t exactly know how to sum up in words all that I have taken away from convergence 9 (C9). I think most of all I take things I already had but didn’t know. I have a newfound sense of inner resolve and determination, overwhelming optimism, and new will to attack life as I haven’t before.

Most of all, however, I take with me a sense of community and connection to others that I have never felt before in my life. I feel I have friends that span a worldwide community, in places as close as down town Chicago and as far away as Calgary.

I want to thank everyone who made my c9 experience what it was. I’d even thank the person who almost ruined my trip, but oddly enough, they also made my trip. One individual in particular I would like to thank for having some good conversation, some good advice, and making our second meeting much more interesting than the first. I hope we can talk again soon.

So now it will be back to the everyday. The mundane. The usual. I don’t know how I feel about that. I am sad C9 I over, but I know there will be even brighter times ahead.

Again, thank you all.

Ok, last night was pretty good (actually, it was all this morning) and more than made up for the fiasco of the previous day. friday was just a cursed day..

Today is the last full C9 day, and I am hoping to make it a good one. tomorrow, I fly out at 2:30 for home, and will be back at home far to late..

Ill write/post my full C9 experience soon.

I dont know what I did, or even really who i did it to…but people really suck.

Today was a very mixed bag kind of day. I was getting phone calls left and right – I just have too much work to do (which is good in this economy). The negative side was I couldnt get what I needed to get done. Tomorrow is going to be another harsh day, and I am going to be driving most of it (two clients in chicago and one in elburn all NEED stuff tomorrow).

On the big plus, is tomorrow is the last day before convergence!. I get to wake up at 4:AM to get to the airport by 6:33 for my flight…to cleveland. then from cleveland to LV.

ah…vacation. : )

HA!!!

Leaving for Vegas THURSDAY morning…after much rangling and nashing of teeth, I got the day off of work, got my flight and housing situation all taken care of, and its just all good now…

got I love this! C9 is going to be one wonderful trip. hell knows I need it.

Ok. I am def in one ear, and therefore cannot easily locate sound. If someone calls my name, and I cant see them – I wont know where to turn.

Last night, when I got home I put my cell phone down….somewhere. it is in the house – I can here it ringing every once in a while. but I cant tell what room its in, because this house is practicaly empty and the reverb is bouncing the sound around everywhere.

Eventually the battery will die…and then I wont know where it is.

take what meaning you will from this story, but somehow that seems to really summarize my whole day..

Note to self: If ever at a birthday party ,where the beverages have been provided by Mr. Briulette, DO NOT drink from the brown unmarked bottle setup to look like a lab experiement. This is particularly true if Alan just smiles and nods when asked whats in it.

The quantitiy does not matter, as I only had a small shot mixed with a full can of coke. I didnt even feel any effects. When I went to NEO afterwards, and had ONE more drink, I was almost floored..

Whatever happens at my 30th birthday, Alan is not allowed to bring unmarked alchohol.

Wow…I don’t know what the hell has gotten into me.

I have had a productive weekend.

Ive got 4 tracks swimming in my head right now – one that Dave and I started. Two I started on my own, and the third is a cover. For some reason, I had the urge to do a synthpop version of ‘people are strange’ by the doors. It just kind of flew out of me. Ill post audio later.

You may notice I edited the lyrics from yesterday a bit. they are going to be the lyrics for one of the projects that I have in the hopper. damn. sometimes it just flows. I guess this is 3 years of writers block finally abating.

More songs I want to cover:

The Eurhythmics – Missionary Man
Simon and Garfunkle – Sounds of silence
Pink Floyd – Another brick in the wall (all parts)
??? – Dont you want me baby (who the hell did this ugly song, and why in gods name was it a ‘hit’)
??? – ‘i live among the creatures of the night..’ (dont know title or artist)..
George Micheal – I want your sex (that one could get me into trouble…)

Well, its off to Marcus’s birthday party. For a number of reasons this could be an interesting night. My ex is possibly going to be there with her new boyfriend..

(play nice..tony…play nice…)