Noisetheorem

tomorrow is moving day…my life is in boxes.

I have so little food in the house, I cant even make cheese and crackers. everything is in a box of one kind or another. all my cloths are put away. all thats left is my office, and my bedroom, which Ill admit I am taking my sweet time with. the studio is going to be an experience to dissasemble, and I am apt to leave it till morning (probably not a wise idea though).

Tomorrow brings the move, and after that I will not have broadband access at home for a while. I dont know what provider I am going to go with, as cash is a bit tight at the moment. I may just end up with ameritech dsl service (icky..icky…icky). Any good suggestions for providers?

I think I am going to nap for a bit before I tackle the studio. there is something inherintly sad about taking it apart. even if I know it will be put back together again, this space will never be the same. I dont know.

its weird to actually be AT the turning point – kind of like those days between christmas and new years – the inbetween days that arent holliday’s but arent exactly normal either. What will happen next? Just have to wait and see.

Strange feelings.

A few months ago, before convergence I was starting to feel connected, not just with others but with myself. Immediatly after C9, I felt like I had figured it out – I knew what i was doing and where I was going. Now, the connections I made there have mostly faded, and the memories are getting dim and unfocused. I feel like many of those connections are fading with them.. were they ever there to begin with?. I dont know.

Cutting all my roots in prep for the move is definitely not helping. the roots I have to where I live run pretty deep, and its a difficult thing to pull them up and hope they take in my new place. In some ways I know this move is long over due, but sometimes I do fear that all i am doing is changing the 4 walls that surround me, and that nothing else is really going to change.

But so many possibilites lie before me.. my record label is picking up, my band has its CD finished, my job is still at least stable and there is growth ahead if all goes well… Why is it I feel more like I am at the end of something rather than the beginning?

Doors close, others open. things change. I just hope that whatever I find behind the next door is worth all the doors I am closing behind me.

ouch.. ouch.. ouch..

yet another memorial day bbq goes straight to my head…

Magicly the gods of DSL have suddenly turned my service back on…I cancelled it a few days ago, but apparently they thought I should have it anyway..

Yay. hopefully it will last out the weekend.

this morning I had to drop the security deposit at my landlords along with the first months rent. I also had to make the last mortgage payment on my house. I officially have no money to fall back on in any kind of emergency…

I am shaking. I can feel my heart skipping beats. I am breaking into cold sweats..

I guess this is what they call a panic attack. This is a very precarious situation.

Anyone out there got a miracle to spare?

The DSL debacle continues..

I got my new DSL modem today. Its an updated version of the one I had, that has lots of features I will never use…

WELL, I plugged it in…and….and….and…

no connection.

So I call earthlink. They say I probably have a bad modem. I told them this is a BRAND NEW ONE. they then decided to check further….

apparently, my ‘circuit’ was deleted…

Ok, can someone please tell me which deity of telecommunications I smited? How the hell do they delete a whole ‘circuit’. They said it should be up within a week. a WEEK.

I told them I am moving in a week. the guy actually laughed.

I cancelled my service.

Dial up baby…56k SMOKIN!!!

More revelations about the ex’s post-divorce behavior.

You know, I just wish she would be honest with me. is that so much to ask?

You know what? I hate DSL. Why do I hate DSL? because mine is down, and now I am stuck on dial up for the weekend. 56k is JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE!!!

My DSL modem is dead, and unlike cable modems which can be bought anywhere, I CANT FIND A SINGLE DSL MODEM IN THE ENTIRE CHICAGO LAND AREA… earthlink says it will be 3 to 4 business days before they ship me a new one…

*sigh*…and in two weeks, I wont have DSL for god knows how long, as I have to setup all this service all over again..

Ok, the lease is signed, a truck is being reserved, and now all I need is a few good people to help with all the lifting! Sunday, June 1st is my scheduled move in-date. I only have a few large articles of furniture (mostly that break down into pieces), and the rest is just boxes of stuff (the 5 million year old african-slate coffee table, and my studio desk are the only items that may be problematic)

the studio will be the only thing that really needs special care. This stuff cant go in bulk in a moving van, so I will need a few people to drive the stuff over.

there will be pizza and beverages provided, of course, and if anyone wants anything special, just let me know and Ill make sure its at both places.

I am going to try to get started about 12:00, and I’d appreciate absolutely any help I can get.

Thank you all in advance! I appreciate it!

-Tony

p.s. anyone willing to help me unpack/organize the subsequent week would also be appreciated.

Matrix Reloaded – takes a while to get started but god DAMN is it a movie…people of average intelligence are going to be mind-fucked by this movie.

There are a lot of scenes that are blatantly eye candy (and several that are strictly brain candy) but for the most part, this movie gets the wheels turning in some odd directions. Alot of people are going to come out of this movie with some seriously stripped gears..

me? I have my own ideas about the Matrix 3 (which will probably be called, The Matrix Crashed or something like that).

Anyway, go see it…highly worth in my opinion.