Today my Grandmother past away. Its a day I have known was coming for some time, dreaded just the same.
My Grandmother had a major impact on my life. My mother had me young, when being a young mother was still quite an excercise in scandal, and had to go to work to support me and herself. While she was at work, my grandmother was the one who raised me.
Now, that in and of itself is not the important part. Whats important is to know that my grandmother had severe scoliosis and Arthirits which had crippled her in hear mid 30’s. To that you must add that she had broken her hip only a few months before I was born and was not able to easily chase after a small child. She more than managed, having rasied 7 children of her own already.
My earliest memories of her are of her telling me stories, and showing me how to use the encyclopedia (a set that she had gotten for me). Though my grandmother could not take me out in the back yard to play with me, she was an ever flowing spring of stoires of the great depression, wwII, raising 7 children, and in general the wisdom of life. She never talked down to me as a child, which helped me develop good language skills despite having a major hearing loss (I am def on the left side, for those that do not know).
When I got older, my mother met my step father and we moved to the chicago suburbs. It had been my grandmother and I’s ritual to read the morning paper together, mostly the comics pages. For many years after My move, she would regularly send envelopes of the collected strips, placed in order with her own occassional comments. When I was 8, it was mostly garfield commics. As I grew up it became Doones bury and Bloom County. She admited to not understanding either, but still found the occasional chucle for herself in them.
By my late teens, My mind and motives had been set to music – a rather expensive persuit. Also being a struggling student, and working a job that paid minimum wage did not help. I remember telling her about my aspirations, which were not widely accepted among my family. She loaned me the money to help me get my record label off the ground, and Produce my first CD. She even insisted on paying for a copy when it was released (I even think she listened to it!). She was always a source of encouragement telling me that I had to have the courage to follow my heart.
Now, a not so popular point hear, my grandmother was also a very devout catholic. some would call her the last true catholic in america. While her faith may have been blind, it was also quite genuine, and she was always willing to give you spiritual council. Unlike many of her faith, however, she was never condecending or preachy. She believed that we must all find our own faith, and pray in our own way. She insisted that the way to heaven was through an open mind, an open heart, and through the love of our fellow people. She was an example of all that can be good in religeon, and I will never ever forget that.
Today, she passed away. Surrounded by her family in an ER. Her pain is over, but her life is not. Some say we live on in the memories of those we have touched, but I would go further and say that she not only touched all of us but also has left a small peice of herself in all of her children and grandchildren. If we are wise to this, and do not squander it, that tiniest atom of her being will be something that we pass on to those in our lives that we touch. I will sleep well tonight knowing she is within me, alive and forever eternal.
If you have read this, than I thank you. Please have a happy holliday whatever you might celebrate.
-Tony